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Legacies and changing themes

April 21, 2010

Well, I’m changing up the theme here. It’s been green for long enough, so until I start customizing some things (and adding a blogroll!), it’s going to be red and white. No, I’m not looking for Christmas. Though it is cold today!

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I do what I do lately. I mean that in the broadest possible sense: why I eat, walk, have conversations, work. I do not mean it in a depressed or hopeless way. In fact, exactly the opposite: the last few weeks have been such an opportunity to celebrate my own hope that the world can be better.

Because, you see, that is why I do what I do. Whether it is getting out of bed in the morning, taking a walk, going to work — I do these things precisely because of my hope and faith that they will affect what comes next. I believe that, like dominoes, each thing I do will affect something further down the line. I believe that my actions can push us further on the road to equality and justice.

At the same time, what I do has been very much changed over the last few weeks. I am not a direct action person. I am not a particularly angry person, not a particularly passive person, just a person. I am inclined to plan for the future and hope for the best, but what I am ultimately is a facilitator. I lie to help others bring their ideas to fruition. My ideas? They are of the strategic sort. They are about how to help other people best succeed.

This has been a rather painful realization for me, because I feel that facilitators don’t leave legacies. While I am neither particularly angry nor passive, I am not a peaceful enough person to be thrilled with this. I want a legacy! And I want it to be fully mine, not just helping others shape their ideas into successes!

But, as someone said to me recently, it is what it is.

My next step is coming to peace with it.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Airchlo permalink
    April 24, 2010 8:23 am

    Hello!
    First of all I love the change up, it’s a good color transition as green is in red and “red is the color of expansion and activates what has been contracted and held by an undue influence of chilling, stringent blue.”(from “the seven colors of healing” by Roland Hunt)
    I could safely say the worlds’ women and children and the poor and rich have been feeling blue of late. Let go let “God.” What are we to do?
    Rise up, i think. I hope.
    The mandala-like pattern is awesome as well.
    I agree with your “domino” effect of our actions. In my youth I took some “medical grade” LSD and how the concept of our actions/feeling evolved was that of concentric circles rippling in and out almost going forwards and backwards in time. Cycles within cycles of patterns that can be altered YES with a single moments choice, that can bind us or free us. Expansion or contraction, attraction or repulsion or neutrality-our choice. Making conscious our intentions help us to be moment enough to appreciate/reflect all life tries to teach us. I fear the occassional overwhelming flood of emotional detris all us facilitators can open ourselves up to…comes back to basics. Simple. Celebrate the smallest of victories and always begin anew from setbacks. I am celebrating right now from your words. Thanks for bringing this up. Airchlo

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