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Flowers and Unexpected Gratitude

February 1, 2010

So as you might have guessed, it has been a while since anything of substance has been written in Sadie World, unless you count self-inflicted wrathful notes and terribly polite emails to job developers. Because I do not count that as writing. Not of a substantive variety.

Waking up this morning, three things immediately went well: the tree in front of my apartment has unexpectedly burst into white blossoms; I remembered to tuck today’s outfit into bed with me and so got to get dressed in warmth; I started a new job, in which working with legislative policy toward people with disabilities will play a big role. This is not why I’m writing — that would be the guilt — but it is what I’m writing about.

A while ago, I announced to another blogger that I wanted to be interviewed about disability. I commented that disability, to me, feels like a hindrance or a barrier to what I would like to do. I resent it, I said, and this is true: I resent the sluggishness and nausea and constant doctor’s visits. I hold out hope that I will become who I want to be… and yet, who I want to be is never me-as-I-am, but me without a disability.

Today, and over the past week as I have been filling out the paperwork to get started, I’ve been really delighted to see how casually disability is treated there. Mine has not been an issue at all, and the people who have mobility or sensory impairments have been not just accommodated but included. It feels as though the onus has been on the people putting things together, from computers to food to maintenance, to make sure that everybody is included and able to use everything. And that? That’s awesome.

Things like the last week have been a big part of why I went into my chosen field. I want to make change happen, at the small, local level where we live our lives; to bring the marginalized into the centers of our communities; to enlarge the pie, not just cut it differently; to draw attention to the many places in which we already do just this, and to shore them up, to make the delicate business of building communities thrive.

So today, today I saw a community I belong to and can belong to and saw so much done right. I am so grateful to have seen today, to be going back tomorrow to see and do more. And tonight I thought that this deserved the time I am spending just now, curled up on my couch and watching my fiery white-blossomed tree in the sunset, to write out my gratitude.

One Comment leave one →
  1. AirChlo permalink
    February 2, 2010 2:19 am

    well there is a pretty thread you wave woven of your life into mine thousands of miles away. Frustration, Anger at unjustified barring of anyone from anything in any way… we share. When it wins we stumble, only to come face to face in the mud at the base of that white blossom tree. I am so glad for that tree being there in front of your house. Consider it your ancestor’s Spirits come to support you! …and el nino -as that was one of his favorite topics.
    Really, I just had a realization the other day of all the ways Gratitude releases us. We are doing fine, us disabled. Good job on the job!

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