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December 2009: Month of the Marathon

December 31, 2009

It has been a while since I wrote! I kept meaning to write earlier, to keep on track with writing, and then my procrastination or a holiday party would get in the way and I’d find myself sleepy and bumbling about and in no shape to put words to paper.

The last week has been filled with the official finishing of finals (including a 9am Saturday emailed final — we all know what we in that class were doing Friday night). It has had a couple of holiday parties, much caroling of Christmas carols I haven’t heard before, and a bit of baking.

One of my favorite recipes has wandered off into the hands of some dear friends. Extending the family one recipe at a time.

What else? Job searches and job applications, getting increasingly more creative but if nothing else more consistent in my applications and presentation of myself. I am coming to terms with the fact that this is not the season for what I’d like, it’s a season for what I need. Today, at least, I’m at ease with that. I believe that there will be something in the short term. In the long term, the fact that I’m one round away from my ideal career makes me more comfortable that I may have to give up my myths — but not my dreams. Not yet!

Treating my myths and my dreams as distant and somewhat estranged relatives has been wonderful this week.

In other, more exciting news, I have purposely and with great fear taken two steps above baseline survival this season. (Yes, I count them.) First, I put up Christmas lights of the small and twinkly variety and may never take them down. They’ve made my apartment so .. twinkly.

Second, I got my stand-in tree this year! With no job I couldn’t justify a real tree, and having no ornaments and no one to help drag it up the stairs I wasn’t inclined anyway… So I am now the proud possessor of an ornamental pepper plant, done up in red paper and flashing its peppers everywhere.

At first, the little cat (The Beast) tried to taste the peppers. I got nervous about cat poisoning but all that’s happened is that she’s wandered around shaking her head and looking disgruntled. At any rate, the Christmas peppers are up on a ledge above the stove — the only place the Beast can’t get to. Mrs. Fuzzybottoms, cat #2, seems not to care to taste them.

So it has been another rocky week. With all the ups and downs I’ve been through lately, I feel as though I’ve run a marathon and why aren’t my legs looking more muscled from the job search. But it has been a better week. An easier, more patient and joyous and at ease week.

And for that, I am grateful.

Ed note: Originally published December 16, 2009.

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